Ah, motherhood. Who knew that a two year old could be so quick? I remember before I had a child of my own, I would secretly judge other moms that apparently had no control over their kid. Yes, it's true... I would think to myself, "How could that mom lose her child in a crowded store?" "How does a child color a wall without you knowing?", etc.
But then I had a 2 year old of my very own. And man, are those little suckers are fast! Now it's so very clear to see how a child disappears in a department store. All you have to do is turn your head for all of 1.5 seconds and "poof!" there goes your kid. And painting a wall? Psshhtt, Ryann could have the Mona Lisa painted in the time it takes me to go #1.
Oh, but this morning was so far the scariest episode I've yet encountered. While putting laundry away, Ry got a hold of a q-tip and put it in her ear. She's done this before but I'm usually able to catch it and pull it out right away, and follow it up my "q-tips are for adults" speech. But this morning I didn't catch it until I heard the thud of her head (q-tip-ear side) hit the wall. I turned around just in time to see the bloody q-tip fall out and embrace the little peanut as she started to wail. At that point I just wanted to accept my award for Worst Mom Ever and walk off stage. But instead I did my very best to soothe her and hold her while the initial pain subsided.
Then I carried her into the doctor's office with my tail between my legs. At this point she had stopped crying (nothing a little Mickey Mouse Clubhouse couldn't fix) and her ear had stopped bleeding. I relayed my story to the nurse practitioner, all while confessing how horrible I felt. I thought I might get some sort of "q-tips really should be kept far away from children" speech but instead she looked at me like I was crazy and told me it happens more often than you'd think. Ok, so maybe my award should be reduced to Worst Mom of the Day instead.
Thankfully, Ry was so brave and sat very still while two doctors checked her out. The verdict was a slightly broken ear drum that will heal on its own in about 48 hours. Who would have thought the ear was one of the fastest healing body parts? Well... now you know.
But my point of this post was not to gross you out with my tales of bloody ears. To be honest, I'm not really sure why I thought to share this story. Maybe it's because I wanted to confess my sins as a 'pre-motherhood judger', and to apologize to all those women who I secretly passed judgement on who were just being moms to 2-, 3-, and 4-year olds. Or perhaps I just wanted to get it in the books so that when Ryann calls me crying because all she did was turn around for 5 seconds and her kid got lost, got hurt, etc., I can say "It's ok honey... did I tell you about the time you ruptured your ear drum?"
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